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Why did you say those words,
so long ago, their meaning now lost in time.
Why did you make me believe you,
I was OK by myself, yeah lonely perhaps, but OK.
Your body excited me, your touch, your smile,
but they were mere superficial desires, easily obtainable needs.
You weren’t my first there were others before you.
You knew that.
I was open and honest with you.
You weren’t the first to say what you said,
but I believed you, I believed you felt the meaning of the phrase,
the conviction in your voice, the promises you made.
You knew what you were saying when you spoke the words,
yet you said it anyway,
You knew what it would mean to me.
I wanted more.
I guess you could say I needed you,
but needs are easily satisfied.
You never understood that.
You never understood needs can be satisfied by anyone.
Your desire is what I craved.
Your desire to be with me, to hold me, to touch me,
to spend your life with me,
to show unending affection for me,
to want me to want you, and to want me in return,
but you didn’t want me, 
you needed me.
You needed me to be there when you cried.
You needed me to keep you from being lonely.
You needed me when the girls were born,
when you had your Lasik and your wisdom teeth pulled.
You needed me to do the dishes and to cook meals
and to show off to your friends.
You needed me to help you to escape
from a life you no longer wanted.
When your needs were satisfied,
you were gone,
not physically at first, 
but gone just the same
as was your desire for me.
Why?  Why! 
Why did you have to say those words.
Why, did you have to say,
I love you.


10/09/2017

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