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the very moment i search for you lord, all my pain starts to dissipate, the hunger i have comes back in full throttle, and so i start again on a clean slate, i guess we all go through it, in our weakness, we tend to back away, if we only remembered your consistency, we would never tend to stray, we all have our own fix-it mentality, we don't accomplish things, and then we're let down, our guilt and our abandonment become our full focus that moment, until we then become chained and bound, many people put on that fake smile, and act as if there's nothing to say, pouring your heart out may mean nothing to others, so to ignore it will take it away, this is what we all tend to believe, so we give up before we even begin to try, evil wants you to think there's no one who will understand, while your so hurt you can't even cry, we are here to gain a relationship with god, and serve others, it is the dress rehearsal before the play, some people will stay in our lives forever, and some may leave or walk away, sometimes we don't understand god's purpose or his will, but when we have intimate fellowship with him, he'll go ahead with what he wants to fufill, he'll place us in a spot, when all is lost, he's the only one that sees the truth, and really cares, he was denied by all humanity, where you are now, he once was there, sometimes we often think how can god possibly relate to my pain?, the answers you need are in your relationship with him, his wisdom and knowledge you'll then attain, forgetting may seem comfortable and inviting, because facing it just hurts too much, our pride doesn't want others to fully see our weakness or burdens, feeling we're using them as our crutch, but isn't that why god placed us all together here, to help catch the other if they may fall, to brace one another when weakness tries to creep in, and lift our burdens no matter how great or how small, when judgement surrounds us constantly, we really don't want to talk, and when others focus on just our difunctions, we feel it's impossible to get up and walk, when we stereotype society as a whole, we may miss that one true friend, that looks way beyond our weaknesses, and will stay with us till the end.
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