Email Poem

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Poem
It all started with a dad who didn't love him
a mum who wouldn't hug him
a sister and brother who are addicted to smack
This isn't even a poem, these are the facts

a little boy in need of guidance from an older head
parents drunk so they ignore his cries from the bed
He just needs picking up and some comfort
But they spent their money on alcohol, so he doesn't have food in his stomach

It's not long before he's taken from the house by a police man
Smashed plates from my parents fight, but I still try to grab their hands
I know this isn't right, but I was too young to understand
Social services decided that Foster care was the best plan

Moved around families, there was nothing permanent
It takes more to make a home than just furnishment 
There was nothing positive in the turn of events
Just a bunch of obstacles, I struggled with hurdling

27 families by the age of 11, at 12 I was in a children home
Which would soon become my building zone
I was quiet and stayed to myself, they couldn't ask for a better kid
I always hoped my parents would pick up the phone, but they never did

I had supervised contact with both parents 6 times a year
All the damage they caused, they didn't think they had to repair
I'd go back from contact and sit in my room alone
My biggest secret would be soon known

I pulled up my sleeves during a game of football & my scars showed
The self-harming secret I had for a year was now out
My dad died and my heart wasn't even broke
I just felt like, if he was alive he still wouldn't be here with me now

Care staff asked me about my self harm scars and told me to explain myself
I said it's the only way for me to heal so no pain is felt
I don't feel the blade on my skin
This was just about the time I started writing on a page with the pen

I was still self-harming as I became addicted to the feeling
Then I'd start writing as my scars began healing
I still tried to hide it from the world
But it was difficult as I was having meaningless sex with lots of girls

It wasn't until I was 20 that u put the blade down for the last time
I'm trying to avoid the thoughts of my past mind
5 years free from self harm, but I'm taking it by the day
I'm still growing and I'm sorry for the delay

Not going back to my old ways is a Luxury
It took so long for me to live Comfortably
I was acting over the top because of all the Pressure under me
I just gave you my Food for thought, but you need to bring the cutlery
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