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ELAINE’S LIMMERICK

Let me tell you of my sister-in-law Elaine
Whose breasts drive most males insane
With her size double D’s 
They bring men to their knees
Her name’s in the breast hall of fame  

She says being big busted like me
Is not all it’s cracked up to be
She says in frustration
Try and hold a conversation
When there’s only two things a guy sees

But although she is much well endowed
Of her breasts she is so very proud
She tailors them cute 
In their double D suits
To make them stand out in a crowd

Her breasts they are not a disgrace
Even though they won’t stay in one place
They wiggle they wobble 
And sometimes they gobble
And unsaddled they fall to her waist

Recalling her lactating years
Monstrous they brought her to tears
Like torpedoes they fell
To her lap they did swell
Her son cried, “Mom I can't nurse from down here!”

When her milk came she thought she’d implode
Then like volcanoes they both would explode
She’d bind them real tight
They put up quite a fight
Till she cried, “No more can I carry this load”

At the lake when she jumps off the boat
A life vest she’s no need to tote
For she bobs up and down
Impossible to drown
Like buoys they keep her afloat

To enlarge them women pay a big fee
To, say a thirty-six C, D or E
But hers are quite natural
She can use them as collateral
And they didn’t even cost her a penny

She has memories of breasts standing high
Neither one was the least bit shy
But gravity has taken its tow
For they now sit quite low
But with underwire she can make them look spry

They're so big that to some they look wrong
But she can bounce them to the beat of a song
They're no longer high and round
They're like two sagging mounds
Because she's now a size Double D long

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