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SEARCHING FOR SELF 

"I soak myself
With thoughts of
Fear,
Meditating, 
quietly I hear,
Nothing but,
Echoes of Anger and wrath,
I hear the ancestors,
of yesterday,
Long past,
I had goals and plans
To succeed 
But life was changed
Once in captivity field
I realized I couldn't 
Be me,
I was only accepted
When I was Becky,
Went to college
Study history lies
Thought I had truth
Until I started to cry
The fountain of youth;
Had to return
An be re-schooled
So much I learned
I wonder why
I spoke like them
Everything I did
Was to please them
I often wondered
When, and when,
This life of bruises
would finally end,
Mental slavery
Start giving in
Again,
I had hatred of self
No pencil to erase, 
Just stained ink 
And pen,
Of my ancestors days,
From beginning to end
Some still a slave 
Currency, a best friend
So many sleep
Un-awaken men
Philosophy follow
Oppresors  trend,
So much on my
Mind
Of life tragedies and
Crimes,
Like a clock 
I start to unwind 
My history,
It was so unkind,
A slave, been raped
Worked cotton fields, 
Massa said do it
Or thirty lashes it be
I see my ancestors 
Burried by trees
They've become the fertilizer
The old peach trees,
No one dares to eat
A history
I can't 
Repeat
So I soak
Putting my mind at ease
As I recognize
My Africa beauty,
I pour out
Start to be me
I realese the lies
And negativity,,,
My mind bleeds
New truth of me
Causing new anxiety
But I pause 
I see the real me
I take a deep breath
Relax and freeze
I meditate and release
This disease,
Of lies they sold to me
I am Africa
That is me
Jamaican, Haitian, American
All we, 
Just dropped off
Different places by sea,
Still in captivity,
So now I live 
And relax as me
Brothas and sistas 
Same as me
In diffrent countries
I see me,
I see we
Our spirituality,
Awaken unity, 
I see Africa,
A true beauty" 

(c)2017 Copyright All Rights Reserved 
By Suzette Campbell aka Poetic Prophetess 
9/15/17
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