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I should have been a Beat Poet

I should have been a Beat Poet
Like Ginsberg or Ferlinghetti
They were good but not that great
Oh, maybe I'm being petty.

I could have driven across the States
Like Cassady and Kerouac
But couldn’t bear weeks on end
Jammed in  battered Cadillac

Living on beer and cigarettes
Sleeping under a hedge,
I really prefer a comfy bed
And I need my meat and veg.

I don’t smoke much or really drink
A lot of alcohol
And drugs, well I am worried
That they would take their toll.

So, although the idea of dropping out
Is one with real appeal,
Is all that existential angst 
Essential to the deal?

I have a beard so that’s a start
And a denim shirt or two
A pair of worn out 501s
In that stylish, vintage blue.

But is it really necessary
To embrace the seamier side?
Couldn’t one write poetry
Having had an easier ride?

I’ve seen the films and read the books
Surely that’s enough
Research for a verse or two
It shouldn’t be that tough

I could have been a Bahai,
I listen to “Thought for the Day”
Or a Catholic, Jew or Vishnu,
Well what I’m trying to say

Is, that faith is now a lifestyle choice
Like a car or mobile phone;
A tribal badge to identify
You’re a yuppie, punk, or sloane

For as we strut Life's High Street
Consumed by rampant consumerism,
Is it a socialist lack of pies
Signifying nothing, a mere spoonerism,

Or a repressive Capitalist Plot;
A new opiate of the masses
To avoid the inevitable truth
That we're wading through molasses?

Now I didn’t have to blow my brain
With mind expanding drugs,
Or travel to a sink estate
And live among the thugs

To pose these twenty-first-century woes
Or postulate their cause;
I managed sitting home in comfort
It flowed without a pause.

But really I’m just kidding
This is pseudo psycho-babble
No more intellectual
Than a game of junior scrabble

So no, I couldn’t be a Beat Poet
Like Ginsberg or Ferlinghetti.
Even the very thought of it
Makes me feel all hot and sweaty.

I’ll stick to writing doggerel
From the comfort of my home
And you never know one day
It may form an amusing tome.
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