Email Poem

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Personal Note:
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Poem
How silly for me to fear going to sleep
when I need sleep so much.
The intensity of fearful thoughts 
consumes me, and I just can't sleep.
When pure exhaustion overcomes me 
I drift off and pray that this night 
will be different....will be night terror free.
Free from my terrifying screams that 
shake me awake.

That darkness, those in my face other 
worldly creatures I can't quite discern
which cause my night terrors, plague me.
My screams leave my throat hoarse, leave
my body trembling, and heart pounding.
Then I lie awake in fitful tossing and turning 
until daylight breaks.
I have no conscious fears to reflect upon,
no reasons for my nocturnal fright.

Yet it happens almost every night.
Doctors haven't given me any useful advice.
Meditation, prayers, leaving the lights on
when I sleep have come to no avail.
My bedroom has been, sage smudged, 
reiked, incensed and God blessed.
Angel protection seems to work the best.
Yet still these night terrors persist.
Psychoanalysis, and hypnosis hasn't helped.

I feel like the little child who keeps crying wolf,
who will one day scream, then be ignored by
family who have become used to my screams.
As yet I have not met another who suffers
with night terrors but I am searching for a group
to join of kindred souls who comprehend what
I am dealing with, who may also suggest
a way to end these frightful terrors for my sanity.
Until I find a way, I won't give up. I still have faith.

8-8-17

*Note:
Night terrors are a form of sleep disorder in which a person partially awakens from sleep in a state of terror. A sufferer of night terrors experiences an activation of his or her fight-or-flight system.
Night terrors usually occur during the deepest stage of sleep, which is typically the first half of the sleep cycle. Night terrors are not nightmares, which are a form of dreaming. Because the person may still be partially asleep during a night terror, they can be inconsolable and unaware of their surroundings. They may have no memory of the episode when they awaken.
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