Email Poem

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Poem

Dear dad
I knew you were struggling.
 I knew you had a bug in you that 
you had to feed
I knew you tried your hardest to be the 
best man that you could be. 
And I knew you were running away from 
reality 
but at the time I just didn't understand.
 I didn't understand 
why you chose that poison over me. 
And to be honest I didn't want to understand 
because in my mind no reason 
would have been a good enough 
reason for me. 
I wanted your love , 
your hugs , 
and your sober mind. 
But all you kept giving was 
drowsiness, 
stolen things ,
and hospital trips. 
I hated you back than, 
but it took me awhile to realize
 that,
that was the time
 I should have given you all my love. 
I know that you needed it. 
You were hurting and all 
I kept doing was bringing you down.
Pushing so much hatred on you
I knew that was the source of your frown
But it didn't matter to me 
Because as the drugs started 
Working
You began not to feel
A thing 
And the more numb you got 
The more pain I felt 
You ran away from life 
While I ran away from you 
I'm sorry 
I hope one day you can 
Forgive me 
You're only daughter 
Dang you must have 
Missed me 

Sincerely, Daddy's little girl

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