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holy diluted cold water
did you see that there
its, little grandma mini 
streaking, in her Sunday's best 
tighty-whitie underwear 

come on now
lets catch her quick 
before, she completely lose it 
or she strips right out of her 
JCpenney sundaies brand new underwear 

oh! my, someone get grandpa 
well! I think he's still in the Crapper 
grandpa, just sitting on the can
hold-en a beer in one hand 
and a fly swatter in thee other 
say-en she come home 
when she good, and ready 
or she gets mighty hungry

so we grab a sheet 
off the old washing line 
and dash left to the right
right to the left right down 
the old dirt street 
lucky for me and cousin Jeb
her old knee injury slowed her down
made her stop
and take a breath 

we all most had her
but dam if she isn't
faster than catfish 
trying to jump off the line
she moved so fast 
it looked like she was 
doing movements 
in movie time
like some kind of ninja 

but after 20 minutes
me and cousin jeb 
just sat down in the grass 
and grandma just laugh

and the moral of the story is 
if grandma goes a streaking 
wait 20 minutes before 
you go a seek-en 

and happy de va ju 
to you too...
    
(a tribute to Jeff Foxworthy)

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