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Filed under: Kids say and do the darnedest things


Little Man was a most curious child
Strange sounds in the night fascinated him
He would lay awake,
when he shoulda been asleep
And in the dark, those odd sounds
	would occasionally bump into his imagination
His auntie Alice had told him before 
that she got curious once, and went down a rabbit hole
She said that ain’t somewhere you wanna go
Alice warned Little Man: “Curiosity can sometimes be quite dangerous,
	show you things you don’t truly wish to know”
But one night, when Little Man really was asleep,
his body sent out a signal of urgency — 
he awoke, and had to dash to the bathroom and pee
While in relief he stood,
	    	           he heard the thumping of wood
Banging noise, like a rumble in the ‘hood
There was plenty of howls, grunts and groans,
and panting wails of “you’re hurting me so good”
Curiosity got the best of Little Man’s eight-year-old mind,
and he forgot the stern warning his parents gave him:
“Boy, at night, don’t come creeping around,
	coming by our door 
Stay in your room! If you want us to come,
	just stomp on the floor”
But after taking the leak,
he had to go take a look-see
Unfortunately, he had got stung
	by the Inquisitive bee
So, he crept up to his parent’s bedroom door,
ever so quiet ... he didn’t wanna creak the floorboards
Or make any noise that would get him busted
Little Man raised his eyes slowly,
		and looked through the keyhole
Telling himself, he would just take a quick sneak peek
But his young eyes got more than he bargained for:
He saw his parents naked as newborn babies,
their limbs entwined in contorted positions
Their faces looked like they were in pain,
though they were both laughing ...
their bodies shuddering and writhing
They had their blanket half covering them,
	    	as they were wildly shaking the bed
They were sweating and shivering ...
Daddy looked like he was about to drop dead,
and Momma was moaning, bobbing her head
Both were shouting and screaming,
saying things that didn’t make no sense:
Momma was begging and pleading, saying: “Don’t stop”
Daddy was huffing and puffing, saying: “I’m pulling out”
Momma saying angrily: “You better make it last”
Daddy saying weakly: “Sorry, I’m fading fast”
And that’s when Little Man heard the crash,
his little sister behind him had dropped a glass
		and started crying
Little Miss screamed, “Momma and Daddy are fighting”
He tried to make her hush,
as he turned to look back through the peephole
	Momma and Daddy, 
in their birthday suits,
	     were throwing on their gown and robe
They rushed to the door,
as Little Man dived to the floor ... 
making like he was picking up pieces of glass
	When the bedroom door flung open wide,
	their parents gave them an annoying sigh
and said in unison: “What is going on?!”
Little Miss said, “I had to stop both of you from fighting,
‘cause Little Man wasn’t gonna do nothing — 
He was just gonna keep peeking in, to see who win!”
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