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THE LAST NEGOTIATIONS The child that I was – Never believed in death- Loving life so much that I cud not conceive of it. Time – states of minds- growth-maturation New realizations, that interfered with my own Understanding of, life death and purpose. Collecting bits of earth- I loved her Wanted to hold on to whatever came from her. Butterflies, fire flies-lady bugs and praying mantis. Geology was my solace. The sun kept my “pet rocks” Warm for me – Unlike the trees, Moon, and Stars, I could hold on to them. Rocks, stones, and driftwood and the like- All Had the formation and the beauty That drew me in as if it had a personality. I loved them, and knew they each had a story- Unlike living pets, I also knew my rocks would never die. I had grown up to find that the deal I made with God. {To never let me die}, was neither, doable, nor had the Bargain Been sealed on the other end. I have seen people suffer and grow old. Therefore, I have made a new deal, asking God. ” Please do not let me grow old” with incontinence and feebleness; Afraid while moving towards my impermanence my mind may tell me to; Seasoning my food with cleansing powered instead of salt. Once I never wanted to grow old- Once, I longed to stay upon on the earth forever: With the promise of the unknown heaven as a reward, I still opted to stay. Today I have Different eyes, think different ways. I have made a new deal with my creator, Which is: “Now I lay me down to sleep. I pray the Lord my breath to take. I pray my kept soul be set free, and my loved ones to keep, Come gently and swiftly I speak the uttered lines. To fit my worth- Not so eager to remain on earth anymore. No longer is the earth my turf. Not the version prayed for as a child. Let me Die peacefully in my sleep. Bury my Ashes in the Black sand, Cover me with beautiful Stones. Until I take root and grow something healing from my rich soot. Greater now is my faithfulness. For I no longer fear death., But fear what has become of this earth. I want no turmoil to spoil my peaceful transition.
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