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Personal Note:

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Poem

explanations of life's complexity seem more like 
eager delusions designed to keep us tame, all my 
energy is sucked out of my soul as I try to hold on 
explosive emotions can't just be willed away 
exploring of all my flaws, and damage that weight on me
eternity seems well, quite daunting.  
exhaling long breaths as I scramble to stay calm 
excising demons, evil parasites, mental agony and takes all of
energy leaving little left to with the 
exigent circumstances of life
enhanced by loneliness and longing 
eat away at what little remains of my vitality 
each day chips at my hopes, dreams, reasons to go on
existence is constant, and time stops for no one. 
each dawn I awake and dread the day to come 
"exacts steps are not marked. Just keep walking!" I command myself 
elongated by perception moment's feel like years.
eerie shadows and screaming whispers of afterthoughts and doubt
echo through my being swarming my mind in perpetual discordance
evening comes to me like a warm loving embrace 
eagerly awaiting sleeps oblivion as a respite from the difficulty of day 
entertaining synapses collide without fail 
enticing thoughts of suicide as I try to fight for sleep 
exhaustion creeping up and lingering no matter how much rest
endlessly I search for some meaning to maintain all the 
effort and toil it takes to go on living. the fact is
etched into my soul is the promise I made to you to keep going
elusive as happiness seems, I gave my word I would be strong 
essentially, I'm just living in hopes your looking down on me 
eyes full of understanding and love that I fear I will never again see.

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