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Poem

Decisions..decisions 
Incisions..incisions 
Because, didn't you know?
It was my body.
Why? 
I am human
I have emotions and feelings too, don't I?
Or at least I did

Rip out my heart,  tear out the innocence 
I'm trying ...I'm trying to make sense
But there's this hole you drove me to 
Yes..you
You're heading the wrong direction 
I said in desperation 
This black empty place 
That I first saw in your face 
And you smile as you replace 
My kindness with fear 
Eternal tear

Drop drop.. thighs.. thoughts 
Tug of war as I fought 
Rip my dress off
As you rip out my soul
Tear off my heels
Leave me in fear
Bruises and scratches
Cuts and scars
Breathing so hard
But you love it all...I see it in your eyes
Force yourself inside 
The terror in my face
It makes your heart race
Pull my hair and stop my breath 

I just want to go home..I just want to home 
I'll do whatever you want just please let me go 
Because ...didn't you know 
I have a son 
I am a mother 
I am a daughter 
He needs me it can't be over
& I'm not done!
I know If I run I'll die
If I go along I'll cry
For the rest of my life 

Some days I truly wish you would have just left me for dead
I should have gone out fighting instead 
But, I chose to cowardly survive 
Now all I want to do is lie
You kept living life
The evil in your eyes
As I die everyday inside

& I need you to feel my terror
& I need you to feel my pain 
So you can understand the chaos that I feel inside everyday 
So you can try to understand how I still fight to stay
But he took something powerful from me that day
What am I fighting for?
I'm not so sure anymore 


Because, didn't you know?
It was my body.
Why? 
Decisions..decisions 
Incisions..incisions

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