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Hair Everywhere Hair Everywhere Every part of my body looks rather shoddy because it’s covered with hair There isn’t a place, even my face, that has managed to remain bare Time goes by, and I don’t know why, but it just keeps on growing Like drifts of snow when it’s five below and winter winds are blowing Covering my back there is no lack of curly long black stuff And on my shoulders as I get older there’s way more than enough It grows on my toes and everyone knows it blankets my forearms too Sometimes I yearn for a mild sunburn, but none of the rays get through Could it be a bad omen that my abdomen has a layer of dense dark locks I look like a brute in a bathing suit; I’d rather hide in a box There’s a wooly bush all over my tush and fuzz growing out of my ears And to my mustache, I say “Balderdash;” Got any pruning shears? One thing for sure; it’s hard to endure; in fact; it’s really a bother I’m not certain of where I got all this hair; it might have been my father It’s clearly true that he’s hairy too, so it’s probably due to genetics At least as a girl, I can give it a whirl and cover some with cosmetics
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