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What’s fair is fair

I walked into Macys Department Store the other day
thinking I’d buy a few items for the summer
I entered on the first floor and was met by
counter after counter of cosmetics and perfume
with finely made up women in fancy smocks 
just waiting to apply the latest from Estee Lauder
or spritz the newest fragrance from Lacome. 

Then I wandered through the labyrinth of ladies shoes,
Every style, color, material, pattern, shape 
and design known to man, well maybe not man
Low heels, high heels, stilettos, pumps, sandals, boots
running shoes, dress shoes, casual shoes 
and don’t get me started on the purses, Coach, Michael Kors, 
Dooney and Burke…clutches, handbags, wallets, totes,
big bags and even bigger bags

I took the escalator up hoping to find something to my liking
I walked from one end to the other, nothing but women’s clothing
Calvin Klein, Ralph Lauren, J.Jill, Hilfiger, you name it, they had it. 
Tops, skirts, dresses, work attire, dinner attire, after eight attire
There were weekend outfits and morning, noon and evening wear
Low cut, high cut, hip huggers, sleeveless, three quarter sleeves,
short sleeves, long sleeves, ruffles, leggings, shorts, t-shirts, gowns
denim, leather, cotton, polyester, nylon, fringed, hinged…I cringed 

Another flight up, my fingers crossed…OMG, ladies lingerie. 
I had no idea there were that many bras in the world, it seems like the 
entire alphabet is used for the sizes and sometimes it is used twice,
A.B.C.D.E.AA,BB,CC…and so on… 
There was also rack after rack of panties, Spanx, body suits, nylons. 
pantyhose,  knee high, thigh high, lifting, supporting, separating, 
holding in, back support, front support, butt enhancing…butt enhancing? 
Negligees, robes, pajamas, and bathing suits, millions of bathing suits    

One more flight up and needless to say I was becoming quite aggravated
I scanned the floor then finally asked an employee where the Men’s department was? 
He said, “It’s way over there in that corner, 
just past the toaster ovens, luggage, dinnerware and bedding, 
tucked in behind the Children’s s department.” 
Then I asked him one more question because at this point I was very curious
“Where are all of the female customers today?”

He answered, “Oh, they are all downtown protesting how the world is so unfair to them.” 



Note: Macys is a department store in the states. Similar to The Bay in Canada or Fenwick in the UK

5/15/17
Written for the Foreskinfedora For Poets Who Identify As Men Poetry Contest
Sponsored by John Lawless
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