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Poem

I watch the flames from a candle dance among these walls
Loneliness overcomes me, crawling from my stomach out.
The want, the need to hold you once more makes my arms shake 
An earthquake of loneliness and pain explode in my body
I stare into the flames and picture you
Picture how you would of looked
Your smile brighter than light itself 
Your eyes of crystal sending rays to my heart 
You were my northern lights, you would show the way and help center
You were going to be gorgeous
More gorgeous than anything in this universe
Your dimples like mine, deeper than craters 
Your laugh, a sweet lullaby
Oh how the sun would turn your hair to golden silk, as thick as the forest cascading your frame as a glorious cape
I run my fingers over my chest, over my heart
The last place your head rested
I close my eyes and imagine your small little body against mine once more
But warm like a summer day
Your breath like a whisper of wind against my skin
Your fingers curled around a lock of hair 
I’d run my fingers over your face
Tracing your features over and over again
I’d sing the songs you loved, humming a tune of love
I’d whisper my claims of love, my forever promises and protections 
You were our northern lights, you were our everything
You were going to keep us grounded 
You were going to make me and others perfect and whole, show us the way
I open my eyes and stare at the flames again
Tears of a creek carry down
I whisper ever so faintly, as I picture you for my final farewell, my final claim
“Mommy loves you”

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