Email Poem

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Personal Note:
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Poem
Im tired,
emotional,
so exausted.
I  need sleep.
Tears threaten
To spill from me
my eyes do droop
chest is heavy with 
a  hidden  locked
lead-lined heart
alone in  a  world
Tired of fighting so
What would happen 
If I gave in, and fade
away. who would notice?
just to not wake up in the 
Morning.  I am gone inside
wanting to give up and give in
How many would even grieve?
most should be celebrating
one less pain in the butt,
Haunted during the day
Seeing curses at night
never a second to rest 
dragging me far down.
To the depths of the dark.
who knows what lays there.
Possibly a way out of this?
a choice to make it worse
I get a  peak in energy,
my eyes get some light
I find my inner power
The strength to stay
The fighters breath.
I think of little me
I remember more,
Swings, laughts,
never enought
always more
silly child,
smiling
laughting
dressing up,
being  bossy 
Wanting magic.
Too many questions
creativity overflowing
always wanting to learn 
never  knowing  enought
small hands in a big world
small feet plodding the earth
kind eyes looking back up at you
eyes alight with the engergy of life.
animals and people are drawn to her
A gift to the world with her heart so kind
Nothing could compare to her light heart,
Still alive & beating within a sore body
holding the hurting one in a huge hug
A single smile can break through all
Who can say no to a cutie like that?
Her brown-red hair is all tangled,
scrapes on her knees and arms
unmatching dress and shoes,
Even with her teeth crooked
She is the cutest thing ever.
may that smile never fade.
She offers me her tiny hand.
I take it in mine, hugging her
"I will never leave you alone,
You are the root of who I am
You are the best part of me.
thank you for your bright smile
Every time it shakes off the hurt
You always have the best part of me
I love you to the moon and back Ellie*"
She smiles as I guide her into my heart
She dances and spins, free as could be
The best part is, she is still a part of me
Nothing can take that away from me
We are one, we are strong, We will live.
We join hands her smile across from mine, 
Under the moon in my safe place we dace.
The dew on the grass tickles our ankles,
soft glow from the moon lights our way. 
Filling my lungs with crisp air.

I recall my first breath of freedom, 
In Action,
A Smile on my face.
I was free.
At that moment I knew the truth:

I am a beautiful, free and mature young woman who loves and trusts herself!



*Ellie was my childhood name/ inner child
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