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I have been on the road of recovery once again
Abandoned, but that’s alright – how have you been?
I hope you well in all you do…I’m unlike any other man
Remember the train who said “I think I can” – yes, I can

Lost my train of thought since forever it seems
I’ve let you down…guess what? I didn’t even have actual dreams
That’s terrific…just epic…
Give me a priceless kick…
To get my motivation pumping…

Bored out of my mind
Pounding with unexpected dread…

I have been seeing the unseen
Putting it in God’s hands…so He can intervene
In our lives…in my life…
Sick of breaking out with sudden strife

You’ve driven me up and down the hill of lackadaisical lands
Putting it in His hands…putting it in Christ’s hands

Hello…
I can’t even hear my echo
Hello…
I’m the California breeze that will blow…
Because the sun came out…
After the clouds departed no doubt

Everything happened so out of the blue…
I hope you would’ve knew…
Wouldn’t you even care anymore?
Open up the door to something I adore;
Oh Lord, what am I looking for?
Am I just another closed door?

I am opening up,
But not enough

My life is but umm’s and I dunno’s these days
Follow me, God’s radiant, gracious and glorious rays
I’ve taken You for granite and I’m sorry…
I wish I can be adequately set free…

Silence…leave me be…
Let me grow like a marvelous tree…
Leave me alone, emptiness
Relieve me from distress…

I feel as if I’ve grown numb

I feel as if I’m stepping away

It’s never too late
It’s never too late
Maybe, it was fate

Vanished away…
Fading away…
Diminishing into nothingness…
Evaporating like water on a hot floor
I am fading…severely
Felt jaded more than once
Disappearing…frankly
Waiting for a righteous response

Well, I hope for the best
I won’t detest and leave out all the rest
I was so hopeless and guilty
Let go of me…I can’t be…
Set free…
With you in mind…
It leaves me blind…

Irritated like a beast out of his cage
I can’t just conceal this rage

The jokes on me
Fabulous…brilliant…
Can’t you see 
That I am still significant?

I was the entertainment of disdain and resentment
Vengeance is not mine to take…no need for bewilderment 

I have become numb…but, I am not dumb
Not dumb like a dirty floor, jam-packed with gum

My life is in a hole
A remnant of coal
I’m sorry…
I’ve let you down
I smile still inside, 
But you don’t see this frown
Killing me softly…
I can hardly breathe…really…

Don’t reveal secrets because gossip is something you can’t undo
Just listen…
Your eyes – they still glisten

Tumultuous people I’ve seen…
I am not only the color blue, but green

Thanks, but I have been living life with procrastination and excuses
I shouldn’t have played around with these…bizarre muses…

I want to be cleansed with God’s Word…
I do – but why did God allow me to be led astray? I am so absurd…
God loves me…
I know that greatly

I’m sick, but I won’t tell them why
I messed up – I’ve grown even shyer than shy 

I thought it was out of my league
To get chronic fatigue…
To be tired all the time – it is sad to succumb in this sadness 
So, I will not overwhelm myself with madness, but gladness
But, first, let me sing…

Trying to be faithful
Trying to be grateful

Got to face my fears…
Got to hide these tears

I’ve decided to move on
Even though it was hours after dawn

Lift my spirits’ sensation 
Build me up, my diamond that always fill my eyes with content
I need God’s foundation
Lies of me being ugly won’t make me feel handsome…so I will accept myself in my shoes…no more resentment…discouragement…I will try to do more fellowshipping and get a grip of my discernment…
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