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Do I Like You? 

Do I like the amount you put into my mouth? 
Do I like how you wash me in the shower? 
Do I like how you put my clothes on - strangely? 
Do I like your order for my bracelet, then my watch tower? 

Do I like you talking back to me and snappily retorting? 
Every time I quite normally tell you what I want you to do? 
You're supposed to be reactive to my wantings
Not as a growling dog each time I autonomously new

Every care request tires you and is a massive problem
This I know by your sighs, frowns and impatience
Just to get away on your journey to the next client
When I have not yet exceeded my visit time or cadence

Carers should remember your instructions and methods
The order in which you like things done, how you are addressed
So you are not a carer to me if you are indifferent
About how I like it, because it is I that needs to be dressed

Why do you do all these things to me repeatedly
And then all of a suddenly ask me about your shifts? 
If I’d like you to work Tuesday or Saturday - more hours?
Lying about your bad attitude, ignoring all the rifts

I’m not a high-quality product on a production line
Waiting to be dressed by someone who has set instructions, 
Because how I’ve lived most days in my past, in all life,
That’s how I want to live today - in all my habitualizations. 

The truthful question is not do you like me? 
Even though it’s assumed to be by many people, 
But the real question is do I like you, your actions?  
Because you can make me strong or weak, incapable


P.S. Being assisted by a care agency which serves older elderly people sucks, even though it was formally not their fault: the company's aims focused on elderly clients, not disabled people in their 30s and 40s. You will be glad to know that having been with this care agency for 17 years, I left them on 27th March 2017 and I've never looked back. Ever. It was really other people who originally forced me to be facilitated by them, not me. So I've written a social care report on this care agency without naming them, and I refer to them as Care Agency X, so if any of you want to read it then just SoupMail me (or Facebook). There were good points to their care as well, and this report discusses the evangelical church and other health professionals as well as my carers and care managers (no names). So it's a review of my life over the past 17 years and therefore it is holistic, about everything, to give it context and make it realistic. I wanted to have integrity.
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