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Poem
I am in the Doctors Waiting Room
Waiting for my name to appear on the screen
I’ve been here for twenty minutes
Oh how much longer before I am seen

It’s embarrassing enough for me
Without the whole waiting room learning
That every time I use the loo
My pee has started burning

I sense the receptionist is highly amused
Though she tries to hide the fact 
Then proclaims at the top of her voice
“Sounds like an infection in your urinary tract”

I can see all eyes upon me
As I go to take a seat
So I make my way towards it
While looking down at my feet

The TV on the wall blares out
An advert about a man called Giles
Informing you what measures to take
If you’re diagnosed with piles

There is an air of misery
And impending doom
Everyone thinking of all the flu viruses
Floating around the room

The lady sitting next to me
Stands up and shouts “outrageous!
If I have to wait much longer
I’ll catch something contagious”

A small boy is building with plastic bricks
Sat cross-legged on  his own
While mum totally ignores him
Too busy on her mobile phone

I point out to her
A large poster on the wall
‘No mobile phones ever'!
She says “I’m talking to my boyfriend Paul”

There’s a sudden buzz of excitement
As a name appears on the screen
It’s of someone who'd got tired of waiting
They went home at two fifteen

There is the distinct harmonic sound
Of sniffing, coughing and wheezing
With an equal measure 
Of moaning, groaning and sneezing

A sudden smell of disinfectant
Makes me catch my breath
My mother always said the waiting room
Had a distinct smell of death

My nose begins to run
And I really must take issue
With the man who stole my seat
When I got up to grab a tissue

My bladder's feeling full
I should have gone before i came
I daren't go to the loo
Because knowing my luck, they'll call my name

I really need to go
And decide to take the plunge
So I start upon my trip
Towards the toilet door I lunge

Safe inside the toilet
I am suddenly appalled
When I hear the tannoy whistle
And my name is being called

I pull myself together
And venture from the loo
It appears I’ve missed my turn
Someone took my place, I don’t know who

I approach the receptionist
And say “I really had to pee”
She says “Come back tomorrow,
Your appointment is ten past three”.
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