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Personal Note:

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Poem

Tell me, oh Observer, 
Or need you not, 
As I have known!

Have I wasted my years on useless words?
Because sometimes I feel I am losing the magic touch,
Because sometimes I feel you are closing us away
Have I been too frivolous, too much of a child?
I beseech you, see me through!

For here is some truth, Seeker
I had no time to be a child
I had no chance to be wild
My brothers and sisters thrashed and squirmed
They were self-indulgent, and heartily reckless
I learned from them,
To mediate
To close it away
Disintegrate
To lose myself in quiet leadership

Until now, until comfort crossed my threshold, 
I had no means of crawling
I had solid food I could barely swallow
And the dirt was forced down my throat
I was bloated in the filth
In the probing of these children
I was made open, and raw
I was made pleasured, and confused

Tell me, oh Observer, 
Or need you not, 
As I have known!

Have you now turned away from me,
When I have finally found this inner child? 
Because I am craving your eyes upon me again
I am craving the way your soul stirs within
Have I driven you away? 
Are my clouds not enough gray?
I implore you, see me through! 

The thunder pounds into me
Their hands hold me down
I am writhing in the grip of adulthood
I am blinded in the sea of doubt

Receiver, my love, my friend
Tell me this—
Have I never known? 
Will I yet shimmer amongst the grime?
I want to discover what you have longed of me
I want you to believe in me
And from this prison,
I want to be free…

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