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~~**This poem is super long, but it took me hours to write. I hope you all enjoy reading this as I have enjoyed writing it wholeheartedly.**~~ Awful anger expressed in verses Didn’t give me blessings, but curses I’m genuinely depressed for letting you down all year round Don’t wanna be candidly blind like a sick, wandering hound Happiness is what I need to rehearse It will be peace to this sad, dark verse I don’t feel like a strong, mighty knight, Always fearful to take flight at night Now, I’m the lonely fool for not making wise decisions Right now, I wanna make a change to fulfill some missions In my mind…in your eyes… In my soul, there’s no lies You are playing me like a game these days But, I will tame the terrible tiger that is inside me I am displaying distress in so many ways And I don’t mean to act so cowardly and franticly Afraid to lose control so suddenly The atmosphere is cool momentarily At least no one is invading my personal space Looking forward to achieving grandeur grace Is there any hopeful bliss to search for Or am I left to forlorn for you some more? Is there any good luck for me in store? My eyes should be to the sky instead of the floor… Wash away the tears, flowing so rapidly from my eyes Push away the fears, growing in my panicked heart as time flies Understand where I am coming from and what I’ve been through I’ve been going through bipolar manias for many years and all is true Do you really wanna know why? There’s times when I want to live or die I wanna explain what’s going on I’m just hoping you won’t be gone Picked on by passive aggressive behavior I’ve viewed in the past Alas, I’ve learned that peacefulness in chaos doesn’t last I’ve fallen for the lies of your cries…I’ve grown stronger ever since… I found myself in the rubble of your goodbyes and seeking His deliverance I’m embracing alienated ambition little by little If only my somnolent bones can be less brittle Forgiveness will be replaced with resentment sooner or later… I’m like the salt and sand of the sea, flowing and churning in a beautiful blur Virtuous humility will crown my head of bottled-up dread It feels like an eternity to be driven by compassionate determination I can’t go on any further when my blotched feet feel like lead Vigorous madness and frustration zip through my veins of lamentation There’s no reason I should sit here and mope There’s gotta be a reason to stand up and have hope There’s no need to be trapped in shameful solitude’s sphere I want to believe and have faith in brighter days without any fear I want to mourn in delightful joy I don’t want to be angry anymore I want to be a happy-go-lucky boy I don’t want to be a closed door I want to be an open door of opportunities for everyone around me I don’t want this hostile rage or discomfort to wrap itself around me I’m willing to be set free from the captivity I’ve put myself in I’m in desperate need of an optimistic outlook from within Your echoing empathy leaves me no reflection of disheartening fear in this mirror I have allowed myself to rise and fall like my failures and successes I hold so dear I dodged the bullets of never-ending negativity that wants me to fall into temptation Envious sorrow and hopeless irritation will not upset me with inner aggravation I will not let nightfall chase away my confident stride I will not allow doubt and grief to make me cower and hide I will be courageous through the storms of tribulation I will shake off the tension and be full of anticipation Encouragement expressed in verses Did give me blessings, not curses I’m genuinely delighted to have sought You in times of trouble and assumption Don’t wanna be falling in the same traps of worthless corruption Distress, in general, is what I need to let go of If I could be simply glad in Your land of Love, I would feel like a strong, mighty knight, Always resilient and faithful, fighting the good fight Now, I’m growing wiser and braver for choosing His narrow path Eventually, I will be rid of all guiltiness from past sins, so I won’t face His wrath In His loving heart, He is absolutely merciful To those who repent from being so resentful In His eyes of truth and passion, He knows that I will gain compassion After I go through the rollercoaster of life… Peace, He will grant you and I if we discard strife I want to mourn in delightful joy I don’t want to be angry anymore I want to be a happy-go-lucky boy I don’t want to be a closed door In your mind…in my eyes… In His soul, there’s no lies Sometimes, living this life can be maddening to the core The fire of desire ire has scorched me aflame not too long ago Other times, living this life has its positive effects that I adore You know, the snow that sparkles aglow is in our soul as a whole – It is like a single snowflake, Transforming into crushed coal Please don’t cry me a lake… Let the emotions take its toll Melt away the walls of wrath between us Trust is like dust, which withers away Shelter us in the shadows of our eustress Lust must vanish or it will lead us astray The madness and sadness will not be the end of us Happiness and gladness will be the beginning of us I’m genuinely relieved that God hasn’t left you and I in grief Our actions and sentiments along with it is but a leaf I’ve been restless and these ups and downs I feel emotionally Don’t benefit you or me in any way You’ve been dreaming of me through thick and thin fervently I pray you don’t ever deny it any day Listen to the consoling whispers of the breeze Do you smell the smoke of my passion at ease? Are you in tune with the rhythm of my heart beats? In my masculine chest (which yearns for perseverance), It beats for you and you alone as it resonates, radiates and repeats I know this is God’s test and I will be receiving reverence The fire of our desire ire has been put out by the Lord… Our decadent emotions is what we shouldn’t hoard The wall of our wrath must be demolished completely Our saturated souls has been transformed tremendously We are like a gleam of a stream compared to God, who is a sparkling lake I know that the feelings we had put our lives and other lives at stake But…look at life in my perspective – sometimes, it takes deleting our history To drive into the rocky road of recovery…He will heal our injury of fury He forgives us for our transgressions He is merciful and wants us to be guilty no more He appreciates you and I’s confessions He promises us that our life will be an open door Opportunities of shameless joy awaits us But, first, we are like school kids in the bus, Heading for a destination that is full of surprises That won’t reduce us to anger with its dainty devices
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