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Poem

I nestle a tab under my tongue
At just twenty eight, I’m still quite young

Before too long
I feel it coming on strong

Dreamily, lazily
I see my past with new clarity
Every question now answered amply

I see nearly three decades filled with so much regret
An eternity before I’m permitted to forget

I lead an unremarkable life 
Few advantages, laden with strife

Only now can I see the failure of MY choices
Surrounded by better options, my compassion convulses 

I can do so much more
So many different ways to create  joy galore
Menial tasks needn’t be a chore

It’s always been my choice
Is it OK if I choose to rejoice?

I can find ways to enhance my self respect
With others in need I choose to connect
What I have I can celebrate 
What I want needn’t devastate

It’s always been my choice
Is it OK if I choose to rejoice?

I can 
Live without disdain 
Lost friends I’ll regain 
Feel pride when sought-out comforting others in pain
Embody excitement, accepting the occasional mundane

I can 
Teach
Convey hope with new found reach
Channel empathy through innovative speech

It’s always been my choice
Is it OK if I choose to rejoice?

I have more control than I know
Now is my chance to let it show

There can be more laughter 
With humor, I can be an injector 
Mastering quiet, when others speak I’m an active listener

I can read more, learn more, invest in myself
Spend my time with greater purpose
Sprinkling fun into drudgery I’m tireless 

How do I know, 
This leads to a more fulfilling existence
A life of broad acceptance
In which I make a difference

I see all of this with great clarity
Only now
Because
I died, 
Twelve minutes ago

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