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Friendless 




I noticed my address book,
So decided to take a look,

Starting at the beginning under A,
Everyone on this page has gone away,

Turning to the next page under B,
Totally blank no one here to see,

Must be someone under C to call,
No no one here to ring at all,

Perhaps more luck under D,
Ah Dan, no he's in prison he's not free,

Ok let's have a glance under E,
Don't know anyone here, someone's
Drawn a tree,

Might do better on next page under F,
Oh Fred at 88, nor he is tone deaf,

Let's see who's on the next, G page,
Gordon, last time I rang him, got in a rage,

Turn to letter H let's see who I see,
Hope and faith they've moved Tennessee,

Not giving up only at page under I,
Ivan, Ivan who, Ho yes he lives in a pig sty,

Quickly over to the next page J,
Vicar Father James, he'll make me pray,

Ok ok let's just go to page under K,
Ring Kev, unbelievable he died yesterday,

Not doing very well, up to page under L,
Lou better not ring him he's not been very well,

The page under M Is the next I come to,
Mother if I ring her the air would be blue,

I must know someone under the letter N,
one entry, Nettie, don't ring her again then,

Must be someone on page under O,
Someone's having a laugh, wrote H steptoe,

Page P next to peruse, fingers crossed,
Pete, it was his place I once dossed,

Q won't be anyone here that I know,
Quentin, he was the lad that didn't grow,

R, sure to find someone to ring under R,
Rob, he's the bloke that stole my car,

Beginning to worry, turn to page S,
Not one number, not one address,

Let's see what's under letter T,
Great check if your owed ppi for free,

This is sending me blue, what's under U,
Just my blinking ex, evil blinking sue,

Getting down now up to page V,
Violet, violet who, nothing to do with me,

Well this can't be true up to W,
Empty page nothing here to view,

No point looking in X Y Z,
Sod it I'm going to bloody bed.
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