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I was always looking over my shoulder at her baggage

little did i know at the time 
but her baggage 
was within my sight
on our first few dates
what ever the circumstance 
she wasn't at liberty 
to discuss anything pertaining to her baggage 
because she was born into this way
of life
she may have been a princess
a rich heiress 
having connection to the crime families
whatever, i felt l was in a sandwich
in the middle of her, them and her father
whatever it was i played the guessing game with her
to her remaining mum 
it added strife to my life always looking over my shoulder
second guessing why she had bodyguards
on subsequent dates ..
we were like teenagers parking the car at a beach
just watching the moon, talking story for hours
many hours, it never got boring
what did open my eyes ... i was beginning to catch on 
is that when i started the car
four to five other parked cars started theirs
and followed us
it always turned out to be her bodyguards
whom or what ... didn't spare any expense
yes right out of a story book, on cue
it's hard to believe, little old me ... nobody
being followed, feeling valued
but it also got scary after awhile 
to park the car at a beach
and see men loitering around behind trees, bridges, restrooms 
all her people
although a few times i would try to lose her tails
don't ask me why, 
by speeding up or doubling back ... just to see her scare
she didn't ... she was use to this way of life
only to say that her father would be proud of me
having the courage to play with fire 
times we did go to a market
i would see these men that look to be the same ethnicity 
of her, Pakistani, tailing us
i was catching on
i would ask her, and nod a gesture
pointing out if those were her people
she would only respond that her dad would be proud of me
who would have thought ...
our relationship grew, like fire, too
spreading, 
where i soon moved in
where i couldn't resist 
does your father know me
she said every single detail
a great part me hated being under anyone's spell
being followed ... even when I wasn't with her
another part of me felt she, and maybe even the father
all they wanted is my seed ... a baby
I learned later on two of her other sisters couldn't conceive
and her and I were the dad's last hope
we hatched our eggs before our chickens
we had it all figured out, marriage, oliver or olivia for child's names
we couldn't conceive, 
she had no answer to her dad than to take her life. she did, sadly.
 


connie pachecho

1/28/17
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