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The elderly, the injured,
The deficient, the mentally ill,
The sick, the chastened,
The weary, the suicidal,
The innocent, the broken,
The lost, lost, LOST ...
You are NOT there with them ... 
Only sadness and loss and pain.
The animals, the little creatures,
Tortured for fun, beaten for fun,
Skinned alive, burned alive,
Buried alive ... for fun!
Beautiful, guiltless, loving
Creations that are
Mutilated and tormented and maimed,
All for the sake of a laugh or sick joke ...
Oh, you are certainly NOT
With ANY of them!
I look and look with a longing
And genuine and hopeful heart,
But I don't see you ...
I don't.

A planet full of life and love
And wonder and beauty,
All torn asunder in front of me,
Butchered and bruised and
Burned and blasted to hell,
Despite the prayer and pleading,
Despite the hope and diligence and FAITH!
Oh, that word, that perfectly crafted
Excuse of a word!
You either hide behind that word,
Or you are certainly not YOU!
I don't think you hide behind it,
I think THEY hide truth behind it.
THE Truth ... the ONLY truth.
The truth that has stared
At me since I was a child,
The truth that laughs at
All who find it so warm
And wonderful and worthy,
The truth that has been
Tempting Man since
Man first WAS ... the truth of why
I don't see you.

This world is dripping in this truth,
This world is dying from this truth,
This world is happy and blissful
In it's dark demise because of it.
And so many souls are devoted to it!
So much time and  money is spent for it!
Wasted on this truth of You ...
YOU! You who are NOT here.
You, who has never been here,
Never been with me,
Never been in any place I looked.
My whole life looking
For a phantom, false.
I haven't seen you,
I couldn't see you,
I can't see you.

But I have seen hell,
Oh, yes, I have ...
Everyone has.
Children have.
It is around us all,
You don't have to search,
You don't have to look,
Just open the paper,
Turn on the news,
Walk down the street,
Visit a neighbor,
Look in their eyes,
Look in your own.
Everywhere!
It is thriving! And we feed it!
IT is real, tangible, palpable ...
No matter how we pray and
Hope and wish otherwise ...
No matter how much
We beckon to YOU
For guidance and help
And salvation and peace,
The hell continues, thrives,
Laughs, increases!
Where are You?!?
Where ARE you??
I don't see you!!

Yes, I see love and kindness, too,
Every day, here-and-there,
And joy and peace and grace
And beauty and contentment,
But it is in SPITE of you,
Certainly not BECAUSE of you,
Or ANYthing you've done.
Why do people give you,
A phantom - an apparition, credit?
Why do folks praise you and worship you?
Because of all you DO for them??
Because of all the children you save?
Because of all the pain and suffering
And hatred and war that you end?!?
You do NOTHING ...
And I do not see you.

Yet they make YOU everything??
No, I don't believe it ...
You are most assuredly NOT ...
Everything or ANYthing ...
Because you are not YOU.
And you are surely not to be
Seen ...
Or here ...
You are NOT.
I keep searching ...
Yes, I do, I still search ...
But not for you,
I search for ME,
In a deep, dark soul of questions,
Questions created by a
Faith in phantoms,
And forged in the fires of reality.
A life's journey spent in circles,
And a heart softened by
The tears of a traitor ...
Recreant tears shed to
The heavens, amaranthine.
But I no longer search
For the truth,
Oh, I found the truth,
Most certainly I did,
And I wish to all that's
True, decent, and good
That I had not,
But I did.
And the truth
Is not you ...
The truth IS ...
You ...
Are ...
NOT.
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