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I’m stuck in depression he has me wrapped around his broken finger holding me so tightly close to him I can breathe the thick air within him.I’m not losing tears just losing my state of mind, what’s left of it at least.I have not discovered such misery that consumes my mind itself...for this I feel so numb to the very thin dark coal of my soul.Now I’m up repeatedly breathing depper and deeper only to realize I have to face reality.This innocent heart I’ve stummped upon held such sorrow you could almost hear its screams that were distinct of pain.I ripped my heart out in trade of hers for I only wished she would find something worth living for.Carrying this depressing beat in my fragile chest now trying to bring it back, but i have seem to let it down.I fight in constant tears of sobs so tragic I can’t sleep so much anymore these past few years.I sit up right with the most morbid expression, they have questioned me to be alive or not.The reply i gave was the slightest smile to reassure I have not given up just yet.I’ve only been in this world for sixteen years and I have already approached such a matter of sadness in need of my help.One day I am gonna carry to much pain that I fall on my bare knees trying to get back up, nevertheless i couldn’t stand the deep sorrow of pain anymore.Who am I to go to when i need a bit of hapiness to make it through this life journy.Am I to be a corpse of regret or failure of my strongness.I see no positive outcome of me giving up on such a task I had been challenged by and by many others like me.Never have I fell this deep in my own thoughts.Only then I lost sight from the fog that keapt crowding in my head muttering to me over and over that I will never overcome my what of aiding these poor lost souls.I do not know how much life I have left in me or hope for that matter.Feels like I’m losing touch with my own hapiness as I grow farther away from it.I float around watching it just lay on the bathroom floor surrounded by a island of all the medication you could think of that were meant to make me “happier” but only helped me realize reality is becoming satan’s perfect hell.My train of thought has not lost its madness just yet, for my heart lost its madness.It is vulnerable and weak when when it comes to lost never found dreery souls that reak of death and sudden fatell worthless purpose.To what is my doing for, why trade my heart for someone else’s damaged and wounded one.I have lived you can say to what a shorter time then most but I serve the hopeless forgotten ones for they have not yet lived a life filled with such color and laughters to come.I willinginly sacrifice my still warm beating heart that pumps such red colors through out my body so they to have a hint what hapiness exist for.I do not mind my constant weakness every day from this trade of broken hearts.I ask nothing in return, simply wanting this soul to live and experience such a vibrant life that is so powerful enough to create such a chain reaction amongst the rest of the broken fallen ones.When I have nothing left to offer but of my soul, I to would sacrifice it knowingly I may never come back the same, to why do these mere souls matter so much, only to fully understand my madness is you to shall help someone in need of such a tragic task.
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