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Cold Hearted, ice-crusted, frozen, dead inside,
I thought I was immune 
but your stinging words cut my heart, I should take it in stride
Mean spirited, spiteful, ruthless, arrogant, obtuse
expected, accepted I should be use to this abuse
par for the course over a lifetime of sorrow
happy memories I cling to, clichés I borrow
repugnant and reconciled to callous, oversight
my bleeding tongue to stay the ire, I bite.
unspoken, unbidden pain, anger freshly awash
mourning for a childhood lost.
Blinded, enraged, still I hope
finding sardonic wit, sarcasm, my avenue to cope.
you abandon me at every turn
secretly for your approval and affection I yearn.
I want to be something you treasure
cherished, loved, a joy beyond measure.
But again I'm met with cold-hearted narcissistic indifference at heart 
painstakingly I lock away the storm that threatens to rip me apart
and quiet the thunder in my head
biding my time, pretending all is well, when all I see is intense red
You never gave me what I most needed
I had to bow to your wishes, my own unheeded.
You play the savior when it's to your avail
when stories of your mercies you can regale
Pompous, egocentric, grinches of grinches above all
I still hope your beloved, me you will call.
Now there's a new one that hangs on your every word as law
She watches you with love and adoration, her radiant face filled with awe.
When she was born, I had the fleeting thought
you might be to her, what to me you were not.
Your love and approval she tenaciously sought.
With every callous blow you harden her heart like you've done for so long
Always right, you can never be wrong.
Cold hearted narcissist I am done with pleas for love and affection
I'm done vying for your love and receiving rejection.
Now, the lesson you've imparted has been learned, scorned for many years
resignation has set, I've dried all my tears.
It should be easy to walk away from numbing pain
To settle my heart and ease my brain
I no longer mourn for what will never be
I no longer care if you love me.
Putting words to paper, made it all real
Anger and sadness remove, indifference reveal
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