Email Poem

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Poem

Am I caught up I ask myself as I blow a fifty on my own.
  Never did I forsee myself "Partying" all alone.
Mind spinning wrecklessly now spinning so fast,
  too many things to focus on one simple task.
Thinking back to the limits I inflicted on myself for control,
   so many...what was I saying? forget it my mind's on a roll.
Oh yeah I remember now what I was about to say,
  all that limitation didn't mean squat I broke the last one just today.
Never would I dip into my cash flow just to have some fun,
  three dollars and some change is all I had this time when I was done.
Never would clouded vapor from a crystal tube enter my chest,
  but why the heck not can't stick out from all the rest.
Never would I slang just to make some cash,
  yet I had to didn't I? I was running out of stash.
Never would I see the process didn't care what made it tick,
  now I know exactly how to make that cash real quick.
So maybe I am caught up, need to pull myself out,
  I don't want this to end up being all I'm about.
So where is the bus stop out of Tweekerville my friend?
  I've searched back and forth everywhere end to end.
The bus ride in was simple how quickly it was done,
   I was so excited to let loose have some fun.
Mind so clouded now I can't think where I arrived or what time.
  oh yeah I was too busy heading for my first line.
A panicked thought comes to play inside my head,
  by my racing thoughts my anxiety is quickly fed.
What if it was a one way ticket with no return
  why did it take this long just for me to learn.
Oh screw it time to change my state of mind,
  I'll quit thinkinhg like this soon as I get to where my joy lays lined.

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