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Bluebirds sing on an autumn day. Time for me to run and play. You are a vision, a ghost in the fields. You stand my kind protector, with shields. I hide in the grass that brings safety and peace. Pretend to run away while the winds increase. As it moves across wisps of golden meadow I stare As the sun shined on apples, you were there. A comforting touch, through torment I ran from. I would meet you anywhere to feel the love, some. I dreamt of you in the darkest of night. As you rescued me from danger and fright. At school, I drew pictures of you in my mind. Hoping you would greet me and be forever kind. Whenever I heard music, I wished you were singing. But they were wordless songs that kept on stinging. I fought in childhood to make all this be you. I encountered endless battles facing it isn’t true. Here I stand grown and sometimes very fearful. Faced with new beginnings I can still be tearful. Now, when Bluebirds sing and I run outside to play. I let go of the visions that I held in yesterdays. For those were only images of a mother never to be. I am now that to myself, time has passed, ever so free. Written: 1994 Heidi Sands
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