Email Poem

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Personal Note:
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Poem
I've made myself a phantom, keeping critical things from you,
          (and perhaps, in truth, more), for the sake of others ... others who
               will not squeeze a tear on the day I am become amaranthine ...
     or stardust ... those who knew me once inside and out - my full

Heart, my genuine but flawed heart, well-intended as any extant,
          but broken by life's obscurities. Excuses notwithstanding, nill ...
               recompense served where it was deserved, in my lap, justly so.
     Does that make the love bestowed of a subordinate order, still yet?

Does that diminish the tenderness, care, affection, sacrifice, and
          amity? Oh, I long for there to be justice for the struggle and
               atonement given you amidst my darkness, a darkness to be not
     named. EVERY single moment of that endless anguish, given

To hope - hope for prospect, offing, amelioration. Always YOU
          were my cynosure, and I was your knight, a tome of oxidized
               armor, but as determined and valiant as any. Alas, the armor
     is gone degenerate, there is no glint in the eye ... the step has

Shortened, slowed, the battle cry but a timid echo, the gaze
          blurred and ill-met, and even the adoration, once so vital and
               kinetic, dimmed and tempered by actuality, and the misapplication
     of a genuine and ample heart. Oh, how I wish you knew the

Truth, if for my damned selfish sake alone, but it will never come
          from me ... it can not, it MUST not. I have taken this role for
               too long, I have ridden this steed in purpose, and I know no
     other, tried or true - doomed or dubious, it is mine. Done and

Done, to point and boundary. Perhaps some as I are meant to
          carry such a yoke, regardless, to polish the armor of others,
               while we stand rusting in the rain. But maybe someday, for
     fate's sake, perhaps even on a distinct day, when I still draw an

Earthly breath, you will come to know TRUTH, despite, and
          your heart and soul, in absolution, will love me again, adore
               me again, depend on and look to me again ... for the naked
     actuality of just how much I love you ...

And always have ...
          and always,
               always ...
     will.




~ 3rd Place ~  in the "An Expression of Love Poetry Contest", Frank Herrera, Sponsor.
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