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Poem

“We will talk,” he says, 
as if those words will bring me any solace. 
From this moment, 
nothing will ever be the same. 
I am now anticipating a conversation 
where I will have to swallow every word 
that escapes your mouth; 
I will taste every syllable 
that rolls off your tongue.

“Things are just difficult,” he says 
as if anything in life is easy. 
As if up to this point I’ve never dealt 
with strenuous circumstances. 
But I have not 
allowed 
those difficult things 
to deprive me of such a beautiful feeling 
of awe. 
I know it may be hard to explain, 
but give it to me raw, I can bare it. 
I’ve heard scarier things within my thoughts                                                                                                    during those late nights that I thought would never end. 
But they eventually 
turned into mornings. 
I deserve to know, how difficult 
life must be 
with me in it.

Don’t spare me the gruesome details 
I want the grittiness of your soul 
to reflect 
onto mine;                                                                                                           I want to endure the essence of 
“Difficult” from within you. 

Explain it to me slowly; 
I want this final talk to mean something. 
It’ll be our last one for us like this. 
I want it to be savored and fulfilling. 
I want it to leave a bitter taste 
in your mouth, 
so that after you 
withhold this conversation
& express to me 
how “Difficult” it is to want me 
you will notice you aren’t the same 
without me. 

Every time you swallow, 
I want the relish of my lips to resonate 
on your taste buds. 
Months later, 
living your life 
without me,

then you could say–

“It’s just difficult,”

& I would believe you.

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