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Let us fade away and acknowledge that the past never really mattered any way. That the countless conversations lead to our bodies conversing deep in each others thoughts admiration. And the abandonment of our most memorable hallucinations the picket white fence lead to the next frustration the perfect relationship said with so much hesitation… you see we weren’t so perfect after all. Instead we portrayed the two face images, timid love sensitive fragile as if the single touch can break through emotions I don’t have any . You see the messed up relationship is the cause of my life’s lost privileges.  
    She held the gun to my face for about three years. Reminding me that she had total control she cocked it back and reloaded it with all of the sadness emotions and the baby I’m so devoted bull shit and then she pulled the trigger. Now when she pulled the trigger she held the bullet oh so tightly guiding it straight through my flesh, piercing right through my heart and I could still hear the last three heart beats pounding out of my chest 1.. 1 less of a heart beat and my eyes are closed shut forever 2.. 2 of my mothers hard working hands pasted together praying that my soul would find heaven 3. years that I will never get back .. You will never give them back just like when you took my life away you didn’t hold back you should’ve pulled that trigger three years ago.. But this Is my mentality aint it. That pop lock reload, shoot me three times, reload rewind shoot my memory away reload let me forget what went through pain reload.. Shoot me in the heart reload, remind me that there was never a start reload….. Rewind fast forward its funny… its funny that the ones who don’t want to be enemies are the ones becoming more and more dead to me and the memories of our memories dead to me …. Didn’t reveal any secrets dead to me…killed me with the sweet emotions of your poisonous dreams … what have you made me … a heartless emotionless questions every ones devotion and I don’t trust so easy…. Trauma… as these thoughts flow through my brain filling it up I try and release it and pretend that the words on this page doesn’t mean pain but the eruption of the enlarged images is the cause of my life’s lost privileges I will never look at any body and trust the same… lets rewind she pulled the trigger, didn’t hold back dead in pain…
                                                                        -AMERESOUL-
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