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Reality strikes
Almost in a dreamlike state
Slow motion
However sudden
Indifferent to any other
Dreams turned to nightmare  
instantly 

I feel so worthless 
For some time now
A whore
A slut
Good for nothing
Ruined.
Not easy to acknowledge 
But this is how you made me feel.
Almost protected you
Nearly to the death
You left me hung out to dry
Hateful manner so cold
You are your father's son
Its about time you got told.

Pushed away constantly 
Not just you
Everyone.
You are supposed to protect me
Not turn my heart into stone.
Left desolate
Almost like I was just left there
Left to die.
Searching for solace
A warm embrace
Didn't want to feel alone
Need love to fuel my strength.
Took alot for me to let you in
I would have let you win.
Too late now, 
Go scrape the barrel, 
That's where you are going to have to start again.

I have my own story
Not full of excitement, laughs and glory . 
Contentment with brutality
Isolated hurt
Not  belonging anywhere.
Trying to find myself
I thought it was safe to let you in.
Sad to say this is not the way I wanted our lives together to begin.

Tired  of trusting those who fail me
I gave you all the faith I could.
Never enough
Your insecurities  spilled over to me
I thought it was fair that
I shared them with you
I let you in
I didn't know I had to be strong for  both of us. 
Restart, 
Never
I'm not sure if I'm stong enough to begin again

Here I am
Back at square one
This time not just broken
Here I am
Right here in front of you
Shattered 
Just how you left me
We were almost there 
You see
We could have been happy.

Always been blamed
Led to believe I need to live a life in shame.
Nothings changed
Different kind of man 
Lit a forever kind of flame.
I thought you would walk the walk,
Sadly, 
You could not even talk the talk. 

Judging me like you are God 
Nothing but a fool
You won the 1st prize  with my heart
Yet you always felt as though  you lost.
Never wanting to ask 
Your back up against the wall
I can't believe how you let me down
I can't believe how you let me fall
So many chances given to you to show me your strength,
Sadly, I should've known better 
Would've saved me the disappointment 
Could've saved face when you fell from grace

A lesson for my love
Appreciate what is in front of you
Not many get a chance at my love
Talk to me, 
Let us gain strength  
Enjoy our shared love 
It costed nothing,
We could have been forever free.

Kind to all but me
Smiles shared to all but me
Nice to all but me
Anger and nastiness 
Trash I am not
My special moments missed 
Because of your disdain.
I really don't care
For the reasons of your absence. 
You magnified your own pain.

Should've left me alone
Would've been left in one piece
Could've been ok
I should've pushed you away harder
You would've never had a chance to drop me
I could've been ok.
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