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I have finally realised something, the reason that I've been on edge for the past couple weeks. When I'm around you it hurts, not physically but emotionally, memories of joy turned to sorrow slapping me in the face at every oppertunity, the memories were of times of happiness and peace and I yearned for those occasions despite not having any hope to guide me, no motivation to drive me and as a result I thought that I needed you, I became obsessed and the memories seized control and dominated my mind, everything was devoted to those moments lost in time. And after a while something short-circuited and as my thoughts cleared I realised, that it was just an illusion, I don't need anything, I don't need anything but to appreciate what I have and not to seek anything that I do not need. I am content were I stand on the spectrum of life and I will not try to change that, I prefer to be alone and push myself as far as I can go. I am not depressed but more just self proclaimely excluded, I don't want this to affect anyone else and I keep it to myself, which is were I want it to stay. You have a long prosperous life ahead of you, so don't throw it away, make the most of it.
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