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Eric’s revitalised me and my home 
Over his body my fingers would roam
He’s great at fixing and gluing
Expert at banging and screwing
I’m so happy that I sparkle like chrome

All my friends are pretty jealous of me 
They ring with jobs asking ‘Is Eric free’… 
He may be a handy man
But he belongs to me Jan
If he’s home late he gets the third degree!

09~03~16

WRITTEN BY JAN ALLISON


My goodness, Jan!  Why are you being so greedy?
You should share Eric with friends who are needy
You can't stake a claim
On the heat of his flame
Eric's hot and we all want a share of that sweetie.

WRITTEN BY LIN LANE


I race in my chair, scoop up Eric 
And off we both go, and I kick 
His helmet aside 
I then smile wide 
Darren's house will soon look pretty slick

WRITTEN BY DARREN WHITE

Jan asked me to work on her walls, 
Quite simply because I am tall, 
But my balance was poor, 
Almost fell to the floor, 
Good job that she was holding my legs

THIS CHEEKY LITTLE NUMBER WAS WRITTEN BY VIV WIGLEY

Hi, I just got your number from Jan 
Get back with me as fast as you can 
My house is an awful sight 
It could probably take all night 
You never know what else I may plan 

WRITTEN BY ALEXIS Y


A plasterer is just what I need 
Take your time Eric don't speed 
Am watching your butt move 
Like melons in a groove 
A cold shower is needed full speed 

WRITTEN BY SEREN ROBERTS



I better go stop up my sink
Then I'll change into something pink
When he gets on his back
I'll rub that six pack
And tell him what I really think.

WRITTEN BY DANIEL TURNER

Mouth has become bigger and bigger 
And thinks he is pretty like Trigger 
Really has case of low self-esteem 
Only for self is such a great dream 
Rest of him will have to go figure.


WRITTEN BY JAMES HORN

I remember that man known as Eric 
He does make your life so atmospheric 
The one who can fix anything 
Never let him make your heart sing 
Because he has a lover named Derek. 

WRITTEN BY VLADISLAV RAVEN

I heard rumors this hunk is a Monk. 
That theory I hereby debunk. 
Once at a party we tippled. 
Eric, he wriggled and rippled 
while I played with his elephant's trunk! 

WRITTEN BY H PENELOPE SWIFTLOCK


Talk talk talk is all that I hear
Don't be shy there's nothing to fear
Fix it I will
No need to shrill
I lost my shirt I must go bare.


WRITTEN BY TIM SMITH


Now ladies to be fair to me, 
Please consider me on my knee, 
I have a six pack in the fridge, 
And a beer belly like a bridge, 
Built for comfort and speed you see. 

This latest craze about six pack Eric, 
Is only temporarily magnetic, 
An insult to real men alike, 
Leave and get on your bike, 
You make the beer belly men hysteric. 


BOTH POEMS WRITTEN BY MARK PAUL VAN DER MERWE

When Eric came down with the flu 
There was nothing much he could do 
So when Jan's car wouldn't start 
I rushed over with the part 
And I gave her a tune up too

WRITTEN BY JOSEPH MAY

And now Jan is dressing quite spiffy 
But thoughts of her leaving, quite iffy 
Cause while she’s at work 
His tool goes berserk 
Which means he’ll be HERE in a jiffy! 

WRITTEN BY NICOLA BYRNE


IF ANYONE IS TEMPTED TO WRITE A LIMERICK AND MAKE IT INTO A COLLABORATION FEEL FREE!!!
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