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My Kung Fu Chop Suey Present

On my thirty-fourth birthday off to China's best; traveled I went
So very uneventful and unaware I blithely lost all my well-earned money and spent,
As I entered into a Chinese restaurant and telephoned Connie Chang's
Alas, I'd decided to relinquish my yearnings and fill my hunger pangs.

On an undecided moment, I ordered chop suey and plate of spring rolls,
Also, a bottle of plonk to keep out the shivering unwanted cold
I ate so fast and drunk like a half drowned starved human sprinkler,
Putting my calloused hands in my pockets, found my frozen fingers.

Then found out I didn't have enough money to pay the restaurant bill
Then decided to leave and dash; when all was quiet and very still,
Once I was outside, to my eyes, I was shocked with angst and surprise,
All the waiters were waiting there with ugliness in their piercing eyes!

All at once they did many Kung Fu Chops unto my veiled eyes and stamped on my head
Their contempt in their eyes was to leave me so bruised and brutally dead,
They violently attacked me like a raging tiger in heat, then all at once I was still and all alone,
My blood had been spread apart and muscles were strung out and splintered right to my very bone.

They surely unraveled me, quite inadequately because back then I was very sure
This adventure of mine was an espionage of a birthday present for me to remember much of violence and gore,
I callously lay in a hospital bed for six or seven long endless months or weeks
I'm telling you all this had happened for a simple plate of chop suey and fresh steaks and leaks,
You do a great many of silly things when you are young and adventurous--haha! And that was all in a blurr.

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