Email Poem

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Poem
I asked you to let me
be your comfort when in pain
love you when all is hate
carry the hurts that is holding you back
be the tears that transform into smiles
but you chose to let pride and fear be in control

You asked me to 
Be the rock that keeps you grounded
But to be still and watch your agony
Share your joy but hide from your pain
let you push me away amidst thunders
But I chose to stay and be a silent presence

You have it… my soul or my heart
Near you, I feel every single past ache and emotion
Every sad look like a blade cutting my soul
But your smiles is worth a thousand cuts
You have me… and I'll always be there for your needs
All I want is to help you carry your sorrows

I have it…a small piece of your soul or heart
Though you have long claimed and enslaved mine
Yet you don’t understand the connections
Blinded by fear and previous deceptions
You stand on the verge of caution
Not realizing every other love pale in comparison 

When I slip you feel
The curse of damnation like it was all an illusion
That the purest of all love becomes nothing but a dream
And everlasting love only last an instant
I can’t blame you for caution and self-preservation
But I can’t be condemned for others’ past transgression

When you slip I feel
devastated but never disappointed or betrayed
because no offense is too big to let go and forgive
No matter how its hurt is better to have you
Because you are worth a thousand fights
and to have you is to hold you endlessly

You say love is pain and don’t last forever
It only brings doubt, shame, betrayed, and despair
It makes your heart angry and brings you daily disappointment
It only provides a fake blanket of security
It is a two- edged sword that cut deeper than deception
You feel you can live better without it

I say Love is eternal when it’s nurture for eternity
But when neglected it can be futile and ephemeral
Yet I rather live in the illusion of forever than the constant doubt of what ifs
I believe every joyful second with you is worth a million pains
Even if you let go I’ll still love knowing you and loving you
As memories of you will fill my empty days of pain with bittersweet bliss

You ask me to be your rock
I’ll be the constant wall you can always lean on 
I’ll be a better constant than change if you let me
My love cut deep and so much stronger than yours
Yet I won’t let go of what my soul have claimed
Because you are worth one thousand fights

but I won’t hold you back
If freedom from my love
Will make you happy....
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