Email Poem

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Poem
I wonder what you think of me, I wonder what you see.
I know you don’t see my authentic self, I know you don’t see me.
Do you see this wall I built for you? 
I made it on my own.
It started with simple doubts and lies. 
Can you see how tall it’s grown?
I turn away from friends and loves, 
I deserve to be alone. 
Who wants this broken person? 
Whose holes need to be sown? 
I tried to paint these walls for you, 
I put your picture in a frame.
But doing so I lost myself,
I don’t even know my name.
I tried to decorate my past, 
So you really couldn’t see…
All the things I did to you.
All the things I did to me.
I ask for your forgiveness, changed I say I’ll be.
But can I really do this?
I’m fooling no one but me!
I say I’ll rise above this, I say I’ve changed my ways. 
I’m waiting for you to believe me,
I’m counting down the days.
Will you ever really look at me and really see my pain? 
I have nothing left to lose and a whole person left to gain.
They say that at the bottom, they’ll be a light from up above.
I hope it will embrace me, I hope I will feel love.
Will you ever learn to trust me?
My lies were great I know. 
I’ve done nothing but deceive you, 
I’ve never been so low.
I’m asking for a second chance, 
Well by now it’s three or four. 
I’m breaking down this wall I built; I’m tearing down this door.
I’m opening up my soul to you; I’m laying it on the line.
I’m asking you to look inside this HELL I would call mine.
I’m holding out my hand to you, this gamble I will take.
If you take this walk with me, this promise I will make…
I’ll be the friend you’re looking for, so true to you I’ll be. 
I know I have a lot to prove, Just please believe in me.
I’m looking in the mirror,
This face I think I know.
I think I met her once before,
Wherever did she go?
It’s good to see her smile again; her laugh is good to hear.
It’s good to know a friend like her, has always been this near.
I say I sought my soul today, but my soul I could not see.
So I sought my “higher power”
And that too eluded me.
But when I sought a friend like you,
Somehow I found all three.
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