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Poem

You can’t tell me who I am anymore
What I can and cannot do
Because you’re no better than me
There is a limit on me too
I wouldn’t expect you to go around
And grovel to every stranger
For acceptance and love
But let’s make a wager
I bet you, any monies in the world
That you wouldn’t help that homeless man
Or reunite parents with their little girl
Because you’re too scared of the consequences
Of today’s brash society
Of what’s expected of you
But you will always expect it of me

Look me in the eyes and tell me I’m not right
You would feel too shy to help that old lady
Walk by that guy with the flyer
But they get up, and they too get on with their day
I’ve always been told through life
There’s no shame in asking for help
But I’ve never been able to ask
I just sat back on the shelf
And let everybody decide for me
Because of course they knew best
I grew up to trust authority figures
Never really listened to what was inside my chest

My heart was growing bigger,
With every piece of kindest I bestowed
And people loved me for it
But it would soon be something I loathed
Because with every time that my heart bulged
The colour would fade
With every beat it would take
It felt like a clot was being made
Those clots were becoming more painful
Each time I helped someone else
Every time I took the fall
To defend someone else
And I couldn’t figure out why my heart was beating so slowly
Why my chest felt so full
Why I was feeling so low

They say when grief happens
It comes over you like a wave
Those waves were tsunamis
But I had to look brave
And protect my family in the best ways I could
But I turns out
I couldn’t
Because I left the most important patient out.....

Me.

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