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I remember how I used to stand on my toes just to kiss you. 
I remember how I used to tap your hand until it welcomed mine. 
I remember how I used to laugh every time you looked at me and the smile spread across my face. 
I remember how they warned me, and I just brushed it aside. 
I remember how you embraced me that night as tears streamed down my face and promised you’d never hurt me, never leave me. 
But sadly I remember how you said we’d always be friends, but it just didn’t work out. 
Sadly I remember how all I got were icy stares and a chuckle here or there. 
Sadly I remember how you stopped caring. 
Sadly I remember how my wrists screamed with pain as my heart told me to cut but my mind told me not to.
Sadly I remember how my hands would shake and my voice would quiver as my anxiety worsened. 
Then I remember how you came back, said you were sorry, said you still cared. 
I hate how I remember how I trusted you again. 
I hate how I remember that we once way more then just friends. 
I hate how I remember all of the words that made me smile after you began to fix my heart.  
I hate how I remember that she seemed like the better choice. 
I hate how I remember the day you left me again, even though you promised that you wouldn’t.
And now I sit here remembering everything we had. I don’t know if you ever cared, I don’t know if you ever listened. Since that night you broke my heart again my wrists just want a blade, my eyes just want to close and never open again, and my mind just wants to shut down. 
I remember how I used trust you, care for you, love you, and get broken by you. 
I remember why I’m like this now. 
You broke me but you never lost me. That’s what I regret the most. 
But I remember how I want to thank you everyday because even though I feel this pain, one day I’ll face more pain and I’ll still be numb from tonight.
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