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Poem
What if I wanted to break...what if I already have
The scattered pieces of my farce of a heart
have retracted, signed the lease of residency
returning by magnets to me, the magnets of sadness
when all I want is as sappy as it seems pure love
Tell me, an open question, what on earth was I wishing for
when I asked for gray skies and new eyes
or maybe the question should be
'Why was I too selfish in my endeavors to even bother to thank
the universe for every wish that it brought me'
A riddle no need to ponder when I know the response
my wishes, at least the ones I thought were best
became a disaster, brought me nothing but misery
in truth, it was just a wish on star from a boy who wanted more
a little more out of life, more than what he has
so henceforth spills another monologue to my growing sense of
Melancholy
What was I hoping for in pursuit to break and break my right hand
through the repetition of my fist upon brick
at the time a sweet, sweet release to the tense stress
eating my countenance, my composure
though in all honesty I should've known
what I pursue always vanishes into oblivion
a door I always lose the keys to
She denies me entry, forbids access with dark allusive eyes
forbidding, treacherous smile
What have I been waiting for my whole life
for this absurd shyness, the quiet to cease and subside
for the rain to cascade and turn me into a portrait
a portrait of beauty and attraction since I find myself
a nuisance, a creep, a sculpture without sense, an impossibility
for one chance to write my own history
turn a simple fantasy into reality
What's off in the distance
the same sunset I wish for her to see
if only she'd sit atop this lonely rooftop and see my universe
well at through my eyes
since we're only guests, not permanent residences 
in each other lives
Is it so wrong I want her to take a look at my world
not dare shut her eyes
to see behind my mistakes, my flaws
to know things only get better
All that glimmers isn't golden but regardless she's a precious gem
I, a lowly mineral but with pressure I won't become a diamond
just preconstructed rust
I'm but selfish
and want her all to myself
it's a dream to make real but that dream came true already
I just want a redo
for she severed my head, my limbs, stole my heart
so now I lay here, a scarecrow
attacked by crows
begging for this door I can't get open
to fall on me and just see me for me
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