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ALL YOU CAN EAT

by

JOHN M. ARRIBAS


I never subscribed to an unusual idea
That aliens are among us and thriving here
I now question my stand on that theory
Cause I’ve noticed some bodies quite eerie
I see gigantic beings wherever I go
They start out big and continue to grow
The government is aware and brands them obese
“Double order of nacchos, extra cheese,pleeze”

Take an visual survey, you’ll see what I mean 
Two thirds are enormous, one third lean
These immense bodies are easy to spot
They’re all about you, an infinite lot
But what really puts a strain on my eyes
Mammoth women, in shorts, with chaffing thighs
Men fare no better with a  belt line bulge
Storing those carbs  that they love to indulge

Some come in pairs, a man and his wife
How can they ever produce new life
Their sizable girths  prevent  conjugation
How could these two contemplate  creation
Now that I’m at it  I’ll take one more swipe
That’s a long reach  how the heck do they wipe?
Go to the eatery inside any mall
You will find food venders stall after stall

There is one sight you are bound to find
Those colossal rear ends in every line
Its hard to imagine when you see how the suet  bounces
How could this giant have once been  6lbs , 4 ounces
If the mall doesn’t convince you, here’s  a treat
Go to a place that vends “all you can eat”
Here  you’ll find the insatiable glutton
Ingesting soups, salads ,meats even mutton
While they’re devouring six cutlets of veal
They’re mentally planning their next meal

All you can eat(2)



Who are these beings of quivering blubber
So elastic their skins, must be made of rubber
Their shapes are odd and hard to express 
Super wide at the middle, good lord what a mess
Here comes a woman with voluptuous breasts
Matched by her  buttocks and all the rest
I’m sure that I’d become nervous and frantic
Trying to make love to someone so gigantic

A family outing to a local college game
Reuniting with friends that all think  the same
What brings them together is not the event
It’s the tailgating activities under each tent
Its barbeque ,wings ,ribs and potato salad
Nary a care  bout the  pounds they’ve added
Later that day as they go home  a winner
Someone will ask hey “ what’s for dinner’?

Before calling it a day they’ll have a  bite
Not much left , they’ve eaten everything in sight
Hours before breakfast and all through the house
Not a creature was eating not even the mouse
The children nestled asleep in their beds
While visions of cheeseburgers danced in their heads

The idea that aliens account for gastronomical lust
Is totally fictional a complete and utter bust
These giants among us are locally bred
Victims of gluttony ,sumptuously fed
The agricultural interests quickly deduced
Corn syrup a must in all foods we produce
The dairy interests are even harder to beat
You’ve got to add cheese to everything we eat
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