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Why shave? Why bathe? Why behave? Should a man let self-maintenance make him a slave? If he bucks expectation, will all think him depraved? Perhaps think about starting a hippie enclave… Where the bathtubs are puddles and the streets are unpaved. But no, I like smart phones and my microwave. How else could I heat up the treats that I crave? I think I’ll go down to Wendy’s… buy a burger from Dave. Wait, who am I kidding? He’s dead in his grave. I’ll just make something here, hit the porch and sunbathe And think about the five or more bucks that I’ve saved, And count all the gifts that our earth-mother gave. My armpits still smell and my beard is unscathed. Because why shave? Why bathe? Why behave?
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