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(Mother, Don’t Read This.)

On days overcast when the rain is rare
And the queen doesn’t growl in her angry chair—

I’m so here in the now— so here in the now.
Like when I was young, just first beginning
And I was trying to sleep at night in the dark,
But I wasn’t quite ready to part with the day—

My mind would wonder 
And wander so far— so here in the now,
So here in the now, 
I’m so here now.
I’m so here now— that I can’t get out!

Inside forever, forever—
Thinking in forever;
Thinking of forever,
And what pray tell comes after forever?
Nothing comes after forever!
Nothing is never!
    Nothing whatever!

And to see that thing that cannot be shown,
To sow that thing that cannot be sown,
To hold that stone that cannot be thrown,
To know that thing that cannot be known!

That thing that cannot be known
That cannot be known
The cannot be known
Until everything cannot be known.

Trapped in eternal sheer terror!

Forever!

Forever
Forever
Forever endeavor….
I could never explain the terror.
Ever.

And with pure luck if you’re lucky
At last!
A fleeting thought
That comes in a flash!
At perhaps the speed of light
It cries—
Here I am!
Here I am!
Come back!

And banging on everything around—
Searching for any possible ground,
To be grounded, to be down—
Back here on the ground;
Wherever we are 
    in the regular now.

I jump from my bed to escape the aether!
Run though the hall and simple space—
Into the arms of my waiting mother.
“Mother, do you know that scary place?”
Mother! Mother! The forever place—
I was stuck! I thought I’d disappear!”

And she says with a hush and warm embrace—
“You’re always safe in here—

We’re only safe in here.”

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