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“Pull the Trigger”

Waking up from dreams that seemed like reality
Tormenting my brain with thoughts of trigger actions
Fantasy land is a place for laughter and peaceful serenity
Reality has no happiness for painful reminders shake me with open eyes

Fields of wild flowers consume my peaceful dreams
Birds singing of love while the winds softly whisper
Leaves cascading through the air I breathe allowing myself to smile
I wish I could stay in the world where my mind is at peace with my soul

The darkness surrounding my inner self won’t allow my conscience to rest
Every day the struggle to survive one more day to breathe, to laugh, to love
 Running to escape the quicksand beneath my feet so that I may find solid ground
Trying to save this pathetic smile so that one day it might be visible by the eyes staring at me

Windmills turn with the wind like my imagination conjures up ways to escape
Always considering my options of how my life can turn to dust 
So tired of being the one on the outside looking through the window of suicide
Let this sacred heart be free to float away as I pull the trigger ending this consuming sickness

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