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Personal Note:
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Poem
Does life exist between calamities 
or does it exist between parameters
lucky or bot, sight or hearing
visible or non-existent, circumstances or inferiority
a complex we don't understand nor leaves us standing
How much longer will these afflictions persist
how much longer will I suffer the pleasantries of my subtle demise
How much will I crave the dark yet step out of my own alignment
and cross to the other side
Look at my history, my heroes
they all fall second best in their endeavor
villain in appearance
or rage against the machine
in rebellion, in anger
in source of a power unable to obtain
to feel something than useless
to feel anything
Mimicry, that's all I am
pure mimicry
admiring people better than me
yet strive to be better than them
so I can stand proudly next to them
tell myself there's a place I finally belong
but I stand nowhere
I have no place
so I am just lost in space
somewhere in deep outer space
I just don't belong here
not on Earth, not at home
I've been back and forth between here and nowhere
and everytime I've returned I lose something
but I was able to get it back
My ability to adapt is superhuman
but I can't adapt to this
I was a loser last I stayed forever
but I was a loser with friends
a loser with the world on my shoulders, on my back, on the horizon
I was going to seize it all
make it my oyster while turning my own small universe into a pearl
I was 12 and young, I had a chance
I'm 20 now, still young
dead in a grave I've yet to dig
I'm broken with too many labels for the culprits that broke me
and I can't find the right glue, the right tape, the right adhesive 
to piece myself back together
My options are limited, resources unavailable
while I plan my own suffocating release
just in a quick daydream
like somehow saying supernova would calm my suicidal desires
like somehow the feel of my insides burning like the dying sun
would lift my oppression
erase the boulder upon my feet
so I'd find my way to Venus
throw my phone upon Mercury
suffocate on the fumes
while observing the mystery of the sun
as if it would show me the mystery of an 
an omnipotence paradox
but I'd just laugh as my eyes flicker to dust
and my hands just recede to bone
and my knees snap off the hinges 
I've seen too much
wrote my list of complaints to vigorously 
ran too much for my own good
Scientists, search a question for me please
are there bird of prey in space
if not
send a crow to me
at least 5 for the year I was born
have them blend in with the night 
just so I have a personal escort
into a warm worm hole
into another galaxy
16 Earths
Could one of them be a home for me
or do I need another Venus to suffocate upon
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