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The fear of... being thought of the less than what one thinks of railing vengeance against detractors three or four generations all that one might stretch back to and even then with all the woes blights missed/thwarted chances the few that one gets to know in a tightening district of stifling confinement a few might remember and try to forget the awkward recall of some mishap the not-so-good side of at worst the public suicide in the family something left over funereally if only one knew how could agree to let go of one’s eddying image the regrets that teach too late does it matter who thinks what years shave away the three-day old beard on a Monday the thoughtless throttling words of anger and the repeated awkward clanger the longing lascivious looks unrequited futile fights in courts spilling over in Kafkayesque dreams affidavits closure of communication of proof in the solicitor’s sheets the plaidoirie that omits the crucial documents in the wrapped womb of watching TV alone eating one’s insides out the mountains of hours hunched over shoring up that image zeroed in from diverse angles really who or what those who leave behind a name leave not their inner laces graces meannesses gawkiness their stench nor sneezes only their fear of being thought of less than what they thought of dearly cherished mis-spelt polished names the-dare-may-the inhabits the unkempt bearded beggar taking a crap on the edge of the thoroughfare by the Elysian fields of mode-minded graces in full view of the policewoman on the beat won’t this his forbears remember in triumph May 23, 1997 From the collection (re-worked) : longhand notes (1999). © T. Wignesan – Paris, 2016
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