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To a birthday party I was invited, 
as an 11 year old I should have been excited.
I really didn't want to go,
the people there I didn't really know.

The day arrived and mum drove me there,
I exited the car with such little flare.
"Those pants your wearing, now they are brand new,
Not to take care of them would never do".

I stood at the gate as mum drove away, 
weighed up my options, should I go or stay.
I could run to the park and play with the gift,
call back later and wait outside for a lift.

Knowing what mum would do if she found me out,
so inside I must go of that there's no doubt.
Once inside I handed over the gift wrapped toy, 
It was tossed onto the couch, the ungrateful boy.

Now I must admit, I was a strange little dude.
I had a problem eating other people's food.
So when lunch was due and at the table we all sat,
I wasn't going to eat at all and that was that.

As I lifted my fork and pushed food around my plate,
The lady said, "you better eat something little mate".
Now was that a threat? or was she being kind?
I better do something fast, a plan had formed in my mind.

A light bulb moment, I could pull a ruse.
The new pants I wore, the pocket were loose.
feigning that I was chewing on my spuds,
they were removed from my fork and into my duds.

The sausages went in next, they were a little tricky.
The gravy that covered them made insertion a little sticky.
In went the peas and a couple of chips,
my front pockets were full and felt wet on my hips.

When I left the party with a bag of lollies to take,
my back pockets were filled with the kids birthday cake.
Finally home, mum yelled, "What all over your new pants?"
Wooden spoon in her hand as around the kitchen we danced.

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