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My 4 year old was addicted to Band-aids Every part of his body needed a Band-aid. 'mama mama momy mom mom mama' "WHAT!!!!!!" 'I have an owie come see mama' "Julian, love mama doesn't have time to look today I'm getting ready for work" 'Mama I need a Band-aid mama' "Ok, fine sweetheart you can have a Band-aid just PLEASE let me get ready for work" 2 minutes later 'Mama I cant get the papers off mama' "Fine bring me the Band-aid and I'll take off the papers after that mama has to get ready for work" Julian happily puts the Band-aid on 5 minutes later 'Mama' 'the kitty scratched me I need a Band-aid look mama look' "JULIAN, honey PLEASE let mama get ready, ok PLEASE I don't have time to look just go bring me another Band-aid but no more, ok" Julian happily puts on the Band-aid 7 minutes later 'Mama' I have a owie on my toe look mama my toe broke' "JULIAN DAMEN JAMES LINDSAY I will NOT tell you again let me get ready FOR WORK!" 'But mama my toe has a broken on it I need a Band-aid mama mama mommy mom mom' "OMG, Julian You are REALLY starting to make mama mad I mean it this is your very last Band-aid Bring me that box of Band-aids and this is it The very last one for the entire day D O YOU UNDERSTAND?" Happily Julian skips across the room on his BROKEN toe bringing me the box of Band-aids "There the very last one Do you hear me? absolutely NO MORE BAND-AIDS mama has to finish getting ready for work" 'Ok, mama, no more Band-aids' I hide the box of Band-aids in the cookie jar on top of the fridge And That, takes care of That 10 minutes later 'Mama I have a tummy ache mama my tummy hurts mama mama mama' HA! "Sorry Julian the Band-aids are all gone now and I said No more Band-aids" Julian drops to the floor kicking and screaming 'My tummy hurts my tummy hurts' Because I'm an unfit mother I run over grab his arms and yank him to his feet "That's it Julian you stop it now or I'll give you something to cry about.. wanna spankin? HUH?' 'No mama no no spankin' "You go into your room and DO NOT come out until I am ready for work DO YOU UNDERSTAND" 'yes mama' Thank God, finally I can now get ready for work 20 minutes later "Ok, Julian come put your jacket on so we can go" "JULIAN"? "JULIAN, come on right now" Here comes Julian with a very strange look on his face which I recognize as guilt holding his hands over his stomach hiding something bulging under his shirt "What have you done, young man?" "Nothing mama" "Julian what have you got under your shirt?" 'But mama I have a tummy ache, I needed a Band-aid' "Where did you get the Band-aids Julian? mama has all the Band-aids" Sheepishly, he tells me 'from under sissy's sink' "From under sissy's sink? come over here right now" 'But mama sissy has the big Band-aids for my big tummy ache' "JULIAN DAMEN JAMES LINDSAY Do NOT make me come over there and get you" Julian drags his feet up to me hands on top of his shirt his hidden Band-aid being protected from his evil mother Julian starts to throw a fit as I grab his hands and lift his shirt WTF? Taped to his stomach is one of his sister's panty liners Laughing my butt off I'm forced to pull the panty liner off of him while he's kicking, screaming and yelling 'not my big Band-aid, don't take my big Band-aid' Rolling on the floor laughing till I'm crying Julian is screaming and kicking on the floor AND I'm late for work I wouldn't change a thing
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